Every single milestone of this experience finds new ways to surprise me. When we first learned we were pregnant I was overwhelmed with elation and fear. Wanting to be a parent is one thing. When you learn that it’s an imminent reality, it’s something else. The first stage of coping for me was gathering information. I’ve been reading a lot and downloaded an app that allows me to track the changes Lauren and Baby Ruu are going through.
The next stage of coping for me has been nesting. I’ve had a million and one things I wanted to do to our house back in 2009, things that I never got around to for one reason or another. Now that list is slowly becoming a plan of attack to get them done in the next 9 months. I even got around to one of them over Memorial Day weekend!
The point is that through this process, I feel as though I’ve begun to get a handle on the situation. It’s begun to feel less surreal and more real.
And then I heard Ruu’s heart beat for the first time at our ultrasound appointment, and the whole thing became surreal all over again. It was an incredible experience that filled me with such wonder that I felt like a little boy again. And seeing our baby moving around on the monitor made me realize just how little I know about life. I had no idea how far along we have come in our journey to becoming a family of 3. Ruu put on a show for us as his/her arms and legs kicked rapidly like he/she was trying to get away from the Ultrasound wand or maybe become one with the Speed Force. My kid’s gonna be a runner!
I’m still reeling from the experience, still trying to take it in and re-incorporate it into my new reality. I can’t wait for the next experience to come along and ret-con my progress. 😀